It's Just Life
by Satan's Sweeties
Summary: An 11-part mini-fic in which Light has a zit, Halle gets locked out of her apartment, and Misa's pregnant... among other things, of course.
1. Sayu

**I. Sayu**

"Fourteen years old and my parents can't trust me to stay home alone while they're out shopping," I muttered to myself, trekking to the bathroom on the upstairs floor. "How lame is that?" Sighing, I tossed my head back and opened the bathroom door, closing it and locking it behind me in case Light wandered in while I was… busy.

Everything was totally fine and normal until I unbuttoned my pants and pulled them down.

"AAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIEEEEEE!" I shrieked, jumping out of my pants-underwear combination and wrapping the nearest towel around my lower half. "LIIIIIIIIIIGHT! Light, Light, Light!" I ran to him, tears falling from my eyes as I kept them wide open and stared at my brother in horror.

Worried, he clasped his hands on my shoulders and leaned in close to inspect my face. "Sayu, what? What is it?" he asked, cocking his head to the side and staring back at me. "Are you okay?" I shook my head. "Did you break something?" Another head shake. "Are you bleeding?"

Nodding frantically, I replied quietly, "Y-Yeah, I'm bleeding… Light… I don't know what to do…"

He grabbed my arm and looked at it up and down before letting it go and grabbing my other arm. "Well, where are you bleeding?" Shakily, I pointed down at the towel and sniffled, wiping at my running nose and leaving a trail of snot on the back of my hand. "Oh. Well… shit." Looking past me, his eyes widened more and he uttered a string of curses under his breath. "…and you're tracking it on the carpet. Double shit."

"L-Light, what… what's wrong with me?" I squeaked, holding my towel tighter and feeling my knees starting to give way.

Steadying his breathing, he whipped out his cell phone and dialed Mom's number, holding the phone to his ear and turning to face me. "Sayu," he started, biting his bottom lip, "I think you may have just started your period."


	2. L

**II. L**

Shoving my thumbnail in-between my teeth, I curled my toes over the edge of the chair I was sitting on and groaned in the back of my throat, glancing over to where Matsuda was sitting and eating a cookie. Oh, how I longed for that cookie; my fingers twitched when I thought about just getting up and snatching it from him.

But no, I needed to cut back on my sugar intake because the doctor said that I would end up with diabetes if I didn't change my eating habits.

Damn him.

Damn sugar for tasting so good.

Damn Watari for taking me to the doctor in the first place.

Damn the orphanage cooks for ever giving me cake.

Damn myself for blaming everyone else.

And damn Light-kun for just being there.

Sourly, I poked at my broccoli and pouted at the vegetables, willing them to become some sort of dessert right before my very eyes. Sadly, they did not—choosing instead to remain the nasty vegetables they were—and I continued scowling at them before spearing one piece and sticking it in my mouth, grimacing as I chewed and swallowed.

"See, Ryuuzaki?" Light-kun said smugly, taking a bite of his cake and smirking at me from across the table. "That wasn't so bad."

I glared at him disdainfully, forking another piece of broccoli and promptly chewing it, shuddering at the aftertaste while my handcuffed companion giggled and ate some more cake.

Burn in hell, Light Yagami.


	3. Matt

**III. Matt**

When I walked into the living room after taking a shower, I was not expecting to see Matt, still awake and still playing those fucking videogames. I sat down next to him on the couch and cleaned my ears out with the corners of the towel in my hand, raising an eyebrow at my best friend. "Matt, you should go sleep; you've been up for thirty-two hours straight."

"I'm fine," he replied flatly, pressing more buttons and blowing some shit up.

I shrugged. "Whatever. Do you know where the bag of chocolate I bought went?"

"DO I _LOOK_ LIKE A FUCKING BLOODHOUND?" Whoa, what the fuck? "It's not my goddamn job to watch your shit for you, Mello, and I'm sick and tired of you taking advantage of me all the fucking time!"

Scrambling away from my apparently mentally-unstable buddy, I sputtered out, "Wh-What the hell is your freaking problem, dude?" I'd never admit it out loud, but yeah, I was scared shitless and thankful that my tank was running on empty; had it been full, I would've pissed myself. Probably. "Jesus Christ! Are you on drugs?"

He stopped ranting almost immediately, pulling his knees up to his chest and wiping his eyes after pushing his goggles up onto his forehead. "Is that… what you think of me? That I'm just some crazy stoner who can't do anything right?" Cue the puppy-dog eyes, and insert Mello's heart melting here. "Am I really that useless?"

God_damn_, did I feel guilty. "No, of course not. You're not useless at all. You're my…" accomplice? buddy? cohort? secret object of affection? "…friend, and you mean a lot to me." Awkwardly, I dragged him into a hug and squeezed him tightly, regretfully forcing myself to let go of him after a moment. "Better?"

An "Mmm-hmm" was mumbled into my neck as Matt nuzzled into it, cuddling up into my chest and practically sitting in my lap. "Hey, Melly?" 'Melly?' What the hell is wrong with him? "I have a secret I want to tell you…" He lifted his head and leaned in toward my ear, whispering, "I kinda… kinda…" before falling asleep on my shoulder, full-out snoring like a trucker.

Oh well. 'Least I gotta hold him while he slept.


	4. Matsuda

**IV. Matsuda**

"Matsuda." I looked up to see Light, dangling the task force headquarters' keys in front of my face and staring at me. "Listen carefully: I, along with everyone else, am going out for about an hour. You're in charge until we get back, and it shouldn't be too hard because you'll be alone. Can you handle it?" I hesitated for a moment, then nodded. "Good. Here are the keys, and phone numbers are on the fridge."

As soon as everybody left I flopped out on a couch and turned on the television, finding nothing but static no matter what channel I tried. Grunting, I started pressing random buttons on the remote until something in the TV shorted out and sparked violently. My eyes widened to hell as I kept my gaze locked on the sputtering-slash-dying television. "Oh, shit." I quickly unplugged the sparking set and sighed in relief, standing up and heading toward the kitchen to make myself something to eat.

The fridge didn't have much, but the freezer was filled to the brim with frozen dinners and stuff, so I grabbed a mac-and-cheese and popped it in the microwave. After setting it for five minutes like the box instructed, I sat down at the computer and hopped on the internet while I waited; nearly half an hour later, my food still hadn't finished. Worried, I got up and walked over to the microwave, growing frantic at the disgusting burning smell emanating from it. "Holy fuck, oh shit! I set it for fifty minutes!" I cried out to no one, throwing open the microwave door and dousing my would-be meal with the fire extinguisher.

Thanks to my idiocy from before, I had to open up all the windows on the main floor, which left me really freaking cold and practically shivering. Unable to take the lack of heat anymore, I headed to the lower level to grab a space-heater, plugging it in carelessly and paying no attention to what it was close to. The next thing I knew, the entire common area was on fire, and the flames were leading toward the utility closet that housed extra gasoline and gunpowder for Watari's many, many firearms. Swearing loudly, I snatched the keys, grabbed my cell phone, tossed on a pair of shoes, and got the hell out of dodge just before the whole damn building exploded.

Eye twitching, I looked back at the remnants of the headquarters. "I am _so_ dead," I moaned, opening my phone and dialing Light's number; he answered quickly, so I didn't have to spend much time waiting. "Light? Something kinda… happened. Something… _bad._"

_"Well, what exactly happened?"_ he asked, sighing audibly. I told him everything that had happened since he left in excruciating detail. When I finished telling him my problem, there was a long, awkward pause filled with a long, awkward silence.

"Uh, Light…?"

_"Jesus Christ on a fucking bike, Matsuda! One hour—one teeny, tiny, miniscule little hour—and you managed to blow up the entire fucking building? What the hell?"_


	5. Light

**V. Light**

_Beep! Beep! Be—Smash!_

Sitting up in my bed, I glared murderously at the smashed remains of my alarm clock before sliding out from underneath the covers and shuffling over to the bathroom. Yawning, I hung my towel up on the rack and looked in the mirror sleepily, eyes shooting open after seeing my face clearly.

My God. I had a _zit. _Me.

_The fuck?_

"Jesus," I rasped out, leaning in and inspecting the offending blemish carefully, "I'm hideous." Not only was it a _zit_, but it was fucking _huge_; however, the biggest dilemma was the fact that I had to go to 'work' (internship at the local detective agency) and I really didn't want anybody seeing me like that.

Problem: Big-ass zit.

Solution: Super high-tech innovation known as the paper bag.

Genius.

Needless to say, I got a few weird looks from my co-workers, but L just stared at me like he usually did: emotionless and calculating. "Yagami-kun, why do you have your face covered in a paper bag?" he asked, sipping his tea and raising an eyebrow at me.

"I have a zit," I whispered, lifting the bag to show him the monstrosity.

He leaned in to look over my face before pulling back and snatching the bag from my hands, ripping it into pieces. "Yagami-kun, it is barely a square millimeter. You're overreacting."


End file.
